Tonight I can’t go get the elf from the trunk of the car. Why? Because tonight of all nights I’m terrified to walk outside. I keep hearing sirens in my head. There are no sirens. This is the part I hate, the part I can’t deal with. The part that makes me PISSED off.
I’ve never been a huge fan of being in the dark but now it’s 10 times worse than before. I’m constantly looking over my shoulder, checking my surroundings and practitioners running from place to place. I practice my breathing before, during, and after the dark.
What am I suppose to say tomorrow when I don’t have the damn elf out? Nothing, I can’t say anything expect, “Maybe he saw that fit you threw last night and was scared to come!” Such a bullshit lie that I have to tell to cover up for my own personal issues. It’s the dark, where I live, where I’ve lived for 5 years! I just can’t do it, so I’ll cry myself to sleep about it instead.
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